Some of the most influential professional learning in my work around Relationships and Sexual Health Education (RSE) has come not from policy documents or academic texts, but from conversations with parents in China.
Very early on, I noticed something that challenged my assumptions. What is often described in international education as “parental resistance” to RSE did not match my lived experience. Instead, I encountered a strong and consistent eagerness for information, clarity, and involvement. Parents were not disengaged or opposed to the idea of RSE—they were deeply interested in understanding what was being taught, how it was being taught, and how it aligned with their values and expectations for their children. For some, this was the first time they had ever discussed this topic with another person.
This distinction mattered. It reframed what I was seeing. What had initially been interpreted as pushback was, in many cases, something closer to a request for partnership. More often than not, it was also a request for information, as many parents shared that they had never discussed this topic with another person before. In that sense, engagement often began not with disagreement, but with curiosity—and, in some cases, with a need to gently break a sense of taboo. Interestingly, this idea of “breaking the taboo” also became the name of a game I used with parents in sessions, which helped open up dialogue in a light, accessible way. It was also the source of a great deal of laughter!
From misunderstanding to redesign
This shift in understanding became the catalyst for developing a professional development course called From Pushback to Partnership. The central idea behind the course is simple: schools often misread parental concern as resistance, when in fact it is frequently an expression of care, responsibility, and a desire for transparency.
Rather than trying to “manage” parents, the course focuses on building structured, intentional pathways for engagement that allow trust to develop over time.
This thinking led to the creation of the Parent Pathway Model, which maps parental engagement in RSE across three stages: before, during, and after learning takes place.
Before learning, schools focus on building awareness and trust through curriculum information, parent sessions, and consultation. During learning, engagement is maintained through clear communication, lesson updates, and tools that support conversations at home. After learning, schools gather feedback, reflect on responses, and use this insight to refine practice. The model is not designed as a checklist, but as a cycle of communication that keeps parents connected to the learning journey rather than positioned outside it.
The power of reframing parental dialogue
One of the most important insights to emerge from this work has been the impact of language in shaping parental engagement.
In workshops and training sessions, I found that the way questions were framed often determined the quality of the conversation. When discussions focused on individual children, parents understandably became more protective, emotional, or cautious. However, when the framing shifted slightly, the tone of the dialogue changed significantly.
The most powerful question I have found—both in course design and in parent engagement—is:
“What do you believe a child of this age should know?”
This simple shift does something important. It removes the immediate emotional focus from “my child” and instead encourages reflection on children as a developmental group. It creates just enough psychological distance to reduce defensiveness, while still maintaining personal relevance.
In doing so, it allows parents to move from instinctive reaction to more considered reflection. It also helps surface shared expectations about child development, even when cultural or personal values differ.
From pushback to partnership
What I have consistently learned through this work is that parental engagement in RSE is rarely about opposition. More often, it is about communication, timing, and trust.
The title From Pushback to Partnership reflects this shift in mindset. It is not about changing parents. It is about changing the conditions in which dialogue takes place.
Ultimately, this work has reinforced a simple but powerful idea: when parents are given clarity, respect, and meaningful opportunities to engage, partnership is not something that needs to be created—it is something that naturally emerges.